Reason of my happiness ~

You may think I should be sad about this. That the most important thing that used to be in my life is by now, ruined. I do feel sad.. I cry. & then I come to realize that there is no one who can change this .. but me. If I decide to not let it take over me, it will go away.. it will fade slowly .. until there's nothing left of what you left for me to carry .. all by myself ~ I start thinking of the bless I have, the bless of life.. I start believing it.. that everything happens for a reason .. Why not smile and forget about everything else? why not smile until our faces hurt, live the moment ~.. why not smile, while we can do it.. all by our self .. ? Start giving it a thought.. Will you feel happy, if you don't want to? You wont.. even if thousands tried to.. it wont happen, until you allow it.. you control it .. I give it a thought .. I will only live once.. Its only one time, I want to smile, laugh and enjoy everything around me.. Even the little things that might not seem to matter much.. will make the best of life .. Even though I have my fears, Even though I know that I will cry some tears..  I will keep this spirit, for years ~  I will live a happy life.. only because of one reason.. this one reason that can always change everything.. I will live a happy life.. my only reason is because I want to .. and so this sadness disappears  ♥

An Accident ~

Once upon a time, me and my family went to 'Ma7oot' we rented a house next to the beach there, the weather was so lovely, we spent the night under sparkly stars, we started fishing in the morning after that night, I remember we failed, didn't really know how to fish but it was such a blast! when it was time to go home, we were all happy and relaxed 'cause of the fun we had. I remember, I wasn't so relaxed since I was kind-of really sick, having fever and such. I kept on telling my father to stop somewhere so I get 'laban icecream' but uh, that didn't happen.

After an hour of driving, my father felt tired 'cause he was driving since a long time and he didn't really get enough sleep, so my mom started driving instead. I remember, before she started driving she was reading 'quraan'. She was driving as we all fell asleep. she was the only one awake and had no one else to talk to, Umm.. I don't really remember if it was a problem with the car wheels or else, but my mom lost control on the car and wheels that's when the car started flipping upside down while we were still in it. They were about six flips. My mom and dad got out from the car while me and my sister were still in it, my father took me out of the car from that car's window, I had sand all over me, cause we were in the middle of a desert. while we were out, my sister was still inside. dad looked inside the car but didn't find her! He was looking for her, and she started kicking! she was under the car. he and mom started screaming trying to pull her out and trying to take the car off of her. I was crying so much, was so scared I never felt more scared in my entire life than that moment.  I couldn't imagine my life without my sister, just couldn't.. El 7amdilla Allah satar! and no one got hurt badly. we all had cuts all over our bodies but no strong ones. Here's the embarrassing part that I just had to mention, From the happiness, once my parents managed to save my sister and once I saw her well el 7amdilla and there was nothing wrong with her, I started dancing. Yes I actually did. I myself get freaked out whenever I remember this, Just imagine someone in a strong car accident dancing? Haha! No one noticed that though, Only me and my sister. The car was totally crashed into pieces, there was nothing left of it. all our stuff were gone! Two pick-up drivers saw us while they were on their way to somewhere, they stopped, One car took us to the hospital while the other one stayed with my father waiting for police guys or something. I think, those two very kind guys are definitely going straight to heaven for doing that! We needed them. Mom kept on saying that they were angels sent to help us! Hehe. Here's the weird part, I don't really remember us entering the hospital and all that. All I remember is waking up in a bed, somewhere in a room full of babies with their mothers. They actually got me sleeping in the kids room! Argh. I complained about it and told them that I was not a baby, Since when is a ten years old considered a kid? Huh. anyway, I lost my shoes.. So I was walking bare-foot, I went to many places, the hospital was so much fun! but what I liked the most was the looks I got from everyone who was staring at me walking barefoot! Haha. there was this kind doctor named Mariam -may god bless her- She was so nice to me, took me to the cafeteria and bought me lots of chocolates. When It was lunch time, I went to my sister and mother who were in the 'adults room' or whatsoever, I ate mom's lunch, I just refused eating in that bed the put me in.
But then I went back to that bed, I was so tired so I fell asleep.. When I first woke up, I saw my uncle, I couldn't stop myself from crying, for some reason.. I was very very sad and I didn't feel well.. My father and uncle were staring at me feeling so sad and didn't know what to do, they were scared.. I just took the gift he got me and went back to sleep, without saying a word..I actually tear each time I remember that moment!

Anyways, Once that day ended, my uncle took us back home, I was so so so scared on the way, I was so afraid that we might get into another car accident, everyone fell asleep expect my father and uncle and of course me, I couldn't get any sleep! I was trying to talk about -Any thing- with my uncle so he doesn't feel tired and sleep. I also told my father to talk to him, brought any subject so we just keep on talking! they sensed my fear.

And from that day, I was afraid of getting in any car, whenever we went to any place, I was frightened.. that kept on going with me for almost four years, Now I still feel scared whenever I'm in a car, but not like before, Now I feel 'Much-less-scared'..

Al 7amdilla for everything <3 !!

But you know whats the worst thing about all this? I didn't get my laban ice cream :'(

Silent tears.

    Silent tears ~

All the tears inside of me 

refuse to come out easily 

each comes out with pain and suffering

and so, I cry silently 

hiding from the world around me 

hiding from the voices surrounding 

why can't life get easier 

why is everyone a hater?

Do people have to lie in all they say?

is it really in their blood, or is it a habit the just refuses to go away 

You caused all this now

all the damage in my heart 

the pain I feel inside 

I wish I can let it out in words

instead they die inside my heart

Instead my heart gets stabbed with knives and swords

my heart is burning .. suffering 

and so, I cry silently 

life comes with its own secrets

but we, were we born this stubborn?

we just had to find everything out.. I did

and I wish I never had 

Now, my tears, my cries are yelling

Now I no longer cry in silence

now they all see .. they see my tears.. yet, no one understands

confused looks all around me 

asking: whats wrong? 

Makes me wonder, how can I let it all out? can my pain be described by words?

I reply: nothing.. there is nothing wrong with me 

as I continue suffering.. all by myself 

getting hurt, more and more 

choking by my own words 

I'm trying to hold on, strongly 

but its all dark now, no lights, nobody to save me

No breath left inside of me

I'm ... trying! still, suffocating .. 

And so, I die.. silently.

The N family! My favorites ♥

they are my cousins, and I seriously can't imagine my life without each one of them, I wouldn't be -over- dramatic when I say that I love them more than myself and I would do anything for them ~
Its more like, I grew up with them! Had the most amazing times with them.

Nooh ~

I now know him more than ever! He is the sweetest. I love the way he reacts whenever I tell him something, even if its making fun of me, haha. He's SO MUCH fun to be around! Honestly knows how to make me smile in my worst days. He's younger than me but I don't feel that at all, sometimes I feel like he's even much mature than me! I remember, we kind of used to fight alot almost about everything, we LOVED annoying each other as hell, now I just laugh whenever I get those flashbacks of our old days.. He's a smart person and a video games addict! talks about many things I understand nothing about, they are all about programing and video games, but hey! I'm learning. Nooh is my bestest friend that I really care about.

Nora ~

Noooooooooooooora is the CRAZIEST MOST HYPER person I've EVER known. she is really nice and really caring, I love how she doesn't care about what others think. she's just living her life! I love every single thing about nora. and when I say every single thing, I mean it! I'm really lucky to have her in my life, and all her friends are lucky to have her. she's Irreplaceable. Its true that shes so crazy, yet she's really mature and knows how to handle things in the right times, gives the best advices and I can really count on her. She's so weird. in a very awesome way! I love it when she sings and just lets everything out! haha! Her hair, completely fits her! She looks very very cute! shes the best macaroni head.

Nouf ~

How can I describe nouf? well, she is truly one of a kind, a very unique person, there is NO way to find two like nouf! its only her. nouf is really pretty mashalla, such a sweetheart! a  very good driver, an amazing artist! comes up with the awesomest comments, knows how to make everyone feel happy, she has this thing.. which I don't know what exactly is it, but it makes her a very very special person. I seriously can't imagine Oman without her, going to her house and not seeing her there! it would suck, nothing would be the same without 8o8o! AKA noufi, We kind of have many things in common, She is a great adviser as well! a trust worthy person, you can trust her with all your secrets and she would never let you down. Has very beautiful eyes mashalla <3  shes a dear and a person I love with everything I've got <3

Nasser ~

Ummm. Nasser is a very cool person. has a great taste in music! An awesome guitarist. His sarcasm is the best :P His messy hair is lovely. I remember when he was away for a whole year, I missed him alot! A-lot. Its really fun to be around him and I know I can count on him. I really like his name, it fits him! His drawings are awesome, I like his handwriting and I really like how he's working hard this year, I somehow don't want him to study aboard next year! He is getting his driver license soon which makes me feel a bit jealous. And I know we have this thing in common, which is we both feel so hyper after drinking cold laban! Haha. 3abdoosh is an awesome person, everybody knows that about him! he rocks.

sorry but I had to let everything out :$ I love you my bestest cousins in the whole universe :$

Taking a risk .. ?

Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down.  ~Ray Bradbury

I used to be one of them.. those people, who kind-of think of the consequences before doing anything.. I used to try as hard as I could to not take risks, But I did take many risks, without feeling it. time has came, I thought that I was so wrong by taking all the risks I took, I started thinking not to take risks anymore, That I might lose the people I love and care about with these risks, I might lose all what I'm working for by taking a risk! It scared me .. how can a risk ruin everything! that's when a special friend proved me wrong, pointed out that Life its self is a risk. everything we do in life is a risk. things wont go on without risks. if we don't want to lose it all, then we're just gonna have to work harder, and hold on to what matters to us as much as we can! If we live everyday of our life by being afraid of taking a risk, then we'll end up nowhere. we're not gonna achieve anything by not taking risks .. Life is about taking risks; it just is.. 

but the question we have to ask ourselves is not "should I risk it?" its always 'Is it worth risking for?' 

And yes.. it is worth risking for .. thank you, my dear ♥!

My PowerPuff Girls Personality ♥

The Power Puff Girls ♥

The Powerpuff Girls is an American animated television series about three kindergarten-aged girls who have superpowers. Created by animator Craig McCracken, the program was produced by Hanna–Barbera until 2002 when Cartoon Network Studios took over production for Cartoon Network. The show has been nominated for an Emmy Award five times, in the category Outstanding Achievement in Animation.

Yes, I'm 14 years old & Yes I still like cartoons.

The power puff girls is one of my all time favorite cartoons, since I was a kid. I really enjoy watching it! Its funny and really adorable!

So the other day, I was reading about it in wikipedia, I was reading about the characters and that was when i realized that I'm like some of the characters!

I'd say, I'm a mixture of bubbles & Buttercup!! Well, take a look at their features first and then You're gonna realize it yourself.

Bubbles:

-Bubbles  is the cutest one.
-Her personality is sugar.
-Favorite colour: baby blue.
-Short blond hair.
-she was named for her cute bubbly personality.
-She's childish.
-Loves animals.
-Hates cockroaches.
-Shes innocent & Loves playing.
-Shy and sensitive.
-Loves her father alot. (P.Utonium)
-She can be very  independent and aggressive.


Buttercup:

-the tough one.
-Her personality is spice.
-Loves the color light green.
-She has short black hair.
-Shes a tomboy.
-Has a very short temper.
-Shes stubborn.
-Shes the mean one.
-Hates baths & Loves getting dirty.



Some friends tell me that I'm a cutie, they say my personality is cute! but some other friends always say that I'm a tough person; they say I can be a strong person at times, and know how to handle the worst things at the worst times. so I think I'm in between. Spice & Sugar! they both start with my favorite letter, [ S ] .. Sometimes, I'm a sweet person, nice to everyone. do whatever it takes to make a friend with a bad mood smile, Its something I cannot control and it really gets annoying at times. but sometimes I can be the total opposite, I know those people who I don't like at all! I just CAN'T be nice to them, I might ignore them or just treat them as how they're supposed to be treated like. I can be very very rude.

Baby blue is one of my favorite colours, after red, black and hot pink. green was never a colour I liked. I've always hated it, somehow.
My hair is short, just as bubbles and buttercup. but its black, and now its black with some orange brownish Highlights!

I smile easily, anyone can make me smile, even strangers. with the simplest things they say, and I actually realized that I love smiling, its nice! but also, I have a very short temper, its easy for me to go mad as easy it is to make me smile. Simple things that I don't like can make me get very upset, can totally ruin my mood. when I'm Mad, I change to a bad person.

Animals, hmm.. this might sound mean, But I don't "really" like animals.. some are cute, can't deny that, I mean kittens are just too adorable! but I don't like animals much, and I'm not interested in having a pet. something I hate more than slow Internet is every and each kind of cockroaches. I hate, dislike, can't stand being in a place with a cockroach. I find them icky! ..

 A tomboy, honestly I don't know If I'm a tomboy or not. I like the colour pink, the clothes I wear are so girly, but sometimes I just love wearing shorts & tshirts a lot. I know nothing about cars and Just a little about football.. I like messi cause he's so cute.. and of course he's a great player! but I'm so into tennis, Rafael nadal is my favorite player.I enjoy having fun, Hehe! I'm a lazy person but yeah I love being active and all.

 Innocent? I'm not sure if I'm so innocent. I can be very very very very shy at times, whenever someone tells me I look pretty, I blush. If someone tells me anything nice to me, 'face-to-face' I blush. and I always go like "Awwwww!" Even in real life! I'm a sensitive person, deep inside. I don't like showing my feelings though. only to my best friend Farah, who I can tell everything and anything to her & she never judges me. but other people, I don't like showing them if I'm hurt, Ah it doesn't even matter anyway.

 I'm a (I-Get-Whatever-I-Want) person. if I want something, then its totally mine. My father, mother, sister and friends always tell me I'm a stubborn person, and I always tell them I'm not. I dunno I don't feel like I'm stubborn, Its them, they don't do whatever I want or maybe sometimes its hard to satisfy me. I don't know, I just like the best.

My father used to be my best friend, since I'm older now, I don't think he is. but we kinda do have a close relationship, I love hanging out with him & also talking with him, its so much fun!

 I don't like counting on other people, I like doing things and getting everything I want on my own. but sometimes you need to count on other people, And I'm glad I have those people I can always count on in my life.

 Showers are refreshing and fun! I just Lurve taking showers, & I only shower with hot water, whatever the weather is like.

That's my Bubbles Buttercup personality! I tell you, I can be a power puff girl!

An Experience I'll Remember ..

My first public speaking experience was like, 7 years ago or something, but it was only in high schools, I was a second grader student back then. That was when I knew that I just love presenting way too much and I want it as a future career.

There is this experience I have which I'll never forget, It happened four years ago, when I was in grade six. My teacher chose some students from the school, and chose me as well. all the girls were older than me Their ages were from (15-17) I was the only 11 years old girl there. We were practicing for the "Special needs people day" We used to go to the special needs school everyday to practice, on reading some parts of a poem.. So I really enjoyed practicing and all, The girls were nice to me and I was getting along with them so well.. We had our crazy fun moments that we all loved. After weeks of practicing, The day came, when we were goin to let everything we learned out, The day we were going to show the audience what we we were practicing on. it was a huge audience, many many people! There were documentary movies directors, directors associates and many other important people. I was wearing an omani dress just as the other girls, when I first stood on the stage, confronting all the strange faces I couldn't recognize, I only knew my parents, It made me feel so nervous, and really scared. but there was no time to back off then. I kept on reminding myself that they were only normal moments that were going to fade away, but I was kind-of wrong. When it was my turn to show up and speak my parts of the poem, I felt more nervous, my heart beats kept on beating too fast. I said the first two lines and then ran to behind the stage and started crying.. because I suddenly forgot all what I had to say, I suddenly forgot everything. I was crying too much, My teacher came to calm me down, So did my mother .. After I calmed down I went to the stage again.. All confident and strong. Thanks to my mom's words and my teacher's, they made me feel stronger! So once I stepped up on the stage, everyone was surprised, they were all in a shock. I said my parts again.. & then everyone was impressed. Apparently my story went to the TV, newspapers and some documentary movies directors. I got a gift, and they all said I was brave for getting back to the stage like nothing happened.. It really made me feel so proud of myself, I was really happy. After that day, I got some phone calls from some media guys.. They made some interviews with me, I saw my pictures on some newspapers, the post that was on the newspaper, about the special needs days mentioned my name and said that I was the star of the event & there was this omani presenter who mentioned how great I was in some of her interviews. Yeah I know I think they were over-reacting as well. but oh well, I enjoyed being the star. That experience really did change my life, & Many things happened since that experience.

Some mistakes can give you the greatest life lessons at times .. As along as you believe in yourself, everything will turn up fine.